We recently had an experience I thought I should share. In preface I should remind you of what I have previously shared about the huge begging problems in India.
Most of the beggars are women and children with plenty of handicapped beggars in the mix as well. We as a family have made it a policy not to give to beggars. Why? Because first it is against the law. Second, most of the beggars are not working for themselves but are begging for someone else who then takes their money. Whether or not they get any in return I am oblivious. Excuse the crude analogy, but it is much like a whore working for a 'madam' or 'pimp'. The third reason is that although it would make
me feel better to give them something, in the end, I am doing them no favors and only perpetuating the problem. Not to get overly gruesome but it is not unheard of for parents to maim their children in some form to add to the 'sympathy-factor'. The practise of exploitation for gain is an abusive and destructive practise for all who are involved and I do not wish to be a participant. As you might guess, this is not as easy as it might sound, regardless of the valid reasoning.
Hence my conundrum:
Big T was asked to give a talk in church about the example of the Savior. Ever the procrastinator, on our way to church he started asking us for examples or characteristics the Savior had that we could emulate. Randomly we all start giving him ideas. "Love, kindness, patients, faith," and then R turned to him and said "Charity". Just then out of the corner of my eye I saw two men walking toward our car. The first man was obviously blind. The second man followed closely behind him, guiding him, one hand on his back, the other holding his outstretched arm. Suddenly they were at the drivers-side window, tapping...waiting...tapping again.
I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I felt more at odds with myself in my entire life. Here we were, trying to explain what charity meant to our son and how Christ was the greatest example of charity, while a blind man begged at our window. Richard and I starred at each other in silence, each feeling the battle within. My insides struggled. My heart and mind in utter conflict. What should I do. The moment was surreal.
My thoughts twisted within me. What kind of example was I setting for my children? Here I was talking about Christ's example while not emulating it. But then, what did it say if I broke my own policy regarding the perpetuation of exploitation. I was frozen. I didn't know what to do, my conundrum stumped me, I could see now way out.
The whole scene lasted only seconds, but felt like an eternity. I sat there incapacitated by my inner conflict. In the end, the decision was made for me. By the time I pulled my eyes from R's and looked up, they were gone, moving slowly on to the next waiting vehicle, the next potential hand-out.
I've thought a lot about this since then and unfortunately, I still haven't come to a comfortable conclusion. I am bothered that I didn't follow the example of Christ but yet at the same time I feel like the circumstances are different...but are they really? Were there 'beggar masters' and exploitation of women and children at the time of Christ? Would it have made a difference to him?
We have shared our views and opinions regarding the begging issue with our children and I think they understand but I am worried. Was this one of those defining moments? Did I make the right decision, even though technically I made no decision at all. What did my inaction say, what did they take away from that experience, what did they learn from my example? If I am this confused and unnerved by the experience, what might they be thinking or feeling?
In the end, I hope it will be a learning experience for us all. I know it has given me a great deal to "chew" on, thoughts to ponder and feelings explore. It will be a platform for a great family discussion at the very least, and at best, a life changing experience.
